my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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