I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize