It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
