bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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