It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
