so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Randomize
