Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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