Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
