isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
