dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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