Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So much rum. So many feels.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
