dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
