I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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