You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
