If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
