put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
