I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
