The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
