is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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