there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
