Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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