Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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