she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
