Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
