i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
