Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
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