oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
