despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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