I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
