Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
