Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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