Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
