So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
