It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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