shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
how does that bad decision feel?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
