He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
