I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
