he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
