So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
