No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
