just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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