I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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