you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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