it wasn't lemon gatorade
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it hurts more in the daytime
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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