I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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