i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
