This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
