whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
