rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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