...so i touched it.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
