and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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